I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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