Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
