HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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