A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
