Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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