sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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