You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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