I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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