It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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