Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've blown a few things in my day
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
