He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize