Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
