we have pet lesbian snakes
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
