Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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