just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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