i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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