I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
