so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
