but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
