Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize