I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
