so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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