it was like his penis was on wheels.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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