I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
