I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
