just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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