Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
