I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
