Already got asked if we're dating
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
