WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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