Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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