Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
