I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
