every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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