Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
