every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
