Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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