I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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