i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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