what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
