Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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