She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
