i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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