I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
