Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
