you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
