I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
