you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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