Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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