We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
