If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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