does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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