if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
