I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
