69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
