i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
