I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
