She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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