There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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