ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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