Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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