So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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